Have you ever pictured yourself dressed to the nines, walking down the red carpet to screaming fans and paparazzi yelling your name, making small talk with reporter after reporter, and thinking to yourself, "This MUST be a dream, someone pinch me." And then, someone does:

"E! News here with Daniela Medina on the Oscars red carpet: Daniela, who are you wearing this evening?"

"Oh, I found this under my bed while vacuuming; it was suuuuuuuuuuuuuuper dusty, let me tell you. I think it's from Limited Too. Also Jared Leto insisted riding piggyback the whole stretch down, because you know how he is. Say hello, Jared."

"Fabulous. What expectations do you have for tonight, and also, tell us about that one time you accidentally farted—quite loudly—in yoga class?"

Record scratch.

I don't have a real fear of the above scenario actually playing out because I can't act for shit—not to mention I'm thirty and late to the game, ALSO I HAVE NEVER FARTED LOUDLY IN YOGA CLASS except maybe that one time—but in attempting to build an online presence, I occasionally wonder what antics of mine may rear their semi-ugly heads one day. The last few weeks have seen a number of closets dejunked of their skeletons, and while the implications of those situations are exponentially more heinous and damaging, they've piqued me to question what someone could find in my own disastrously organized wardrobe.

Mind you, this is not wholly a bad thing. If something arouses pause before released to the world, it might be worthwhile to investigate why that is. Often we are the biggest strangers to our own unsavory ways: pulling at the threads to see how the fabrics unravel might be an optimal solution to disrobing them. It's possible subliminal ways of unhealthy acting or being will be revealed, and which can then be corrected. We're only as vigilant as we allow ourselves to be.

With that being said, let me apologize now for the snarky things I tweeted at work while I was sleepy and coffee-deprived. I didn't mean them.

Actually I did mean them, but I'm still sorry. Also the office coffee literally tastes like backwater sludge, so somebody please remedy that.

American Apparel blouse; Intimissimi bra; Zara skirt, shoes, and earrings; Uniqlo socks; Vintage belt