Most people will see this and ask, "The fuck you doing wearing a STRAW hat in November?" And I will respond, "Umm . . . hWhAt the fuck you doing NOT wearing a STRAW hat in Novembe—no good call this was a poor execution of judgment."
H&M Overcoat • Uniqlo shirt and jeans • Zara metallic pumps • Mango straw hat • Loeffler Randall purse
Y'all remember that season of Friends Monica waitresses at a 50s themed diner and wears fake boobs as part of her uniform, and then a billionaire (they say millionaire on the show, but we all know what's what) falls in love with her but she's all like, "Oh no no no, homeslice, I am not into you like that," but THEN she conveniently comes around and he flies her to Italy for pizza or whatever, but THEN they break up because he becomes an MMA fighter and she's like, "BOY, I CANNOT WITH YOU"? Yeah? Haha, good times, everything is a real possibility—just like living in rent controlled apartments with private terraces in the West Village, and being able to keep high-paying jobs that are never attended because of an egregious amount of coffee drinking—with no threat of caffeine overdose—being done all day instead. Super relatable.
Vintage shearling coat (Etsy) • Vintage Valentino linen dress (Detka Vintage)
Vintage leather braided belt (childhood) • Zara velvet platforms • Mango headband
I loved superheroes as a kid. Part of my Saturday morning routine, which I adhered to with the utmost devotion, was watching this revamped version of Batman called Batman Beyond, that was set in Neo-Gotham. It starred a curmudgeonly and aged Bruce Wayne, and a bratty high school kid who had assumed the responsibilities of masked vigilante. That show was wild, man. There was this one episode where gene splicing human DNA with animal DNA had become the new "getting ink done," and all these teenagers were full on running around Dr. Moreau style with tails and shit. Until, of course, "Batman" and Bruce Wayne discovered there were dangerous side effects to mixing people with animals (**shocking**). A chase was set in motion, battles ensued, and at the end of the episode, the criminal mastermind spliced himself with all the animals and transformed into a huge BOOGER WORM WITH RAZOR CLAWS AND NEEDLE TEETH, and then exploded because there was too much conflicting DNA in him or something, I don't remember exactly.
Anyway, here's a faux fur jacket.
Zara faux fur jacket and espadrilles • American Apparel denim vest • Vintage shift dress (Etsy) • Noir necklace
And here I am in a beret. A raspberry beret.
Fine, it's more of a wine color, but to be honest, that hue speaks to me on a deeper, emotional level.
Sorry, I mean a deeper, alcoholic level.
Uniqlo wool beret • H&M pile biker jacket, resin necklace, and lace-up platforms • J. Crew v-neck tee • Zara culottes
Ever worn something so tight you questioned if it did permanent damage to your uterus? No? Oh, well, good for you and your perfectly non-squished future children, I'm so happy for you.
H&M pile coat and patent skirt • Zara top, loafers, and purse • Banana Republic snake chain necklace
Well everything about this outfit seems weather appropriate.
Zara bodycon dress, velvet platforms, and earrings • Vintage lace trench (Etsy) • UO belt
Is the Jim Henson Company hiring? Tell them I can provide my own wardrobe.
Vintage silk top (Etsy) • Vintage silk pants (Etsy) • Zara leather and acrylic heels
Forever 21 faux fur jacket • Vintage seed bead necklace (Housing Works)