A Space Odyssey 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

Do you often think about deep-ocean dwelling giant squids? If yes, I think I can understand why: You, like me, must frequently ponder if they've cracked the code to immortality by living so far out of reach from the sun, they don't know what day it is, and thus have no concept of time, and thus do not age, and thus are like tentacle-y sea gods.

HEAR ME OUT.

Because remember Einstein, and his thing with the astronaut, and the clock, and relativity? Or something? Maybe that's what's going on with these deep sea squids. Before you say, "Daniela, you idiot, scientists find dead ones all the time," know that I have a theory for that as well. I think that some of these poor, unfortunate souls experience a Little Mermaid type freakout where they're like, "I wanna be where the people are," and then they rise to the top to break the magical no-sun immortal spell they're under only to react with a, "AW HAIL NO, FUCK THIS," but by then it's too late. It's just too late.

Not to mention, these squids being unaware of how old they are would explain their mammoth sizes, because it'd be like, "LOL am I five or one hundred? Let me keep growing to be safe."

Anyway. The point I'm trying to make is that we're in June now, which means we're super close to the summer solstice, aka the longest day of the year, aka the day when I stand outside and plead to the sun to give me all the immortality powers. I mean, the way I see it, if the giant squids can live forever because they have no sun and don't know what time it is, I can live forever because I have sun all the time and also don't know what time it is. I just won't be slimy and weird.

Haha, just kidding, I will be; I sweat a lot and have social anxiety.

H&M denim top; Housing Works silk pants; Vintage belt; Zara slides; Handmade neckalce