I feel like I should be in a tree, turning my head some crazy degree around, and blinking furiously.

Who dat? MC Hammer, OBVS.

What I love most about Hammertime pants is . . . I don't know, I just love them. They're comfortable! Whoever disses a drop crotch obviously has never experienced the liberating bliss of not having pant seams digging into your thighs. How else are you supposed to bust a move? Or, in my case, how else are you supposed to hang out awkwardly in the most wide-angle stance possible because busting a move is not an option? The answer is there's no other way to, all of that can only be done in oddly draped, tiger print pants. Obviously.

J. Crew sweater and bag.

Forever 21 shoes and MC Hammer pants.

Thrift store collar.