And other delusional things you can tell yourself while dressed as a wannabe señorita.

Such as:

“Someone told me Balenciaga used doilies for design inspiration.”

“l read somewhere Hemingway wore his shawls like this, too. You know: for when he was fighting the bulls and shit. Olé.”

“No, I do not think this shade of lipstick makes me look like The Joker.”

“The cartilage piercing is real because I knew it wouldn’t hurt.”

“If you want to look classy, muscle tanks are a go-to. So is making this face.”

“What do you mean ‘[I] need to brush my hair’”?

“Belt loops aren’t a thing anymore.”

“Yellow is my color.”

“My feet are naturally blistered this way.”

J. Crew tank, Vintage J.Crew skirt from Retropolis in Houston, Club Monaco belt, Spanish shawl from some relative’s attic.

And that’s about it. So remember, guys:

You know what: Whatever. I tried.

Photos unwillingly taken by Kait the Great.