Gimme all the pasta. And wine.

Y’all ever seen those Dolce and Gabbana ads with the old Italian ladies hanging out? Y’all ever seen those ads and get weird FOMO? No? Cool me either.

I’M LYING. I GET FOMO-ED OUT AS FUCK. Because those broads are having a grand old time! They’re milling around in couture, probably somewhere in Tuscany, eating pasta and shit, drinking wine. Or maybe they’re even on the Amalfi Coast, noshing on a plate of calamari as well.

Goddammit.

I love pasta. I love pasta so much. Carbohydrates make my world go round. And wine isn’t terrible either. Ha! What am I talking about, wine is the bomb dot com.

I work across the street from Eataly. Every day I walk by and let out a quiet sob, knowing my destination is the office and not the pasta bar. Do you know why pasta is the perfect dish? Because it involves non-talent-requiring culinary skills, which are the only culinary skills I’m interested in. Anyone can boil a pot of water. Anyone can throw pasta into that boiling pot of water. And anyone can watch and test for when it becomes al dente and ready to eat. Moreover, the beautiful simplicity of pasta encourages community, because it can be made easily and in large quantities. Which makes sense considering it’s a staple for Italians, a people whose culture revolves around familial ties.

Like the Corleones! Hanging out, eating pasta, and kil . . . ling . . . things . . .

. . . LIKE THAT LAST BOTTLE OF WINE, BOOM!

Zara leather vest and denim skirt; Hanes bralette; Miu Miu heels; Forever 21 rhinestone necklace; Vintage bead necklace; Handmade pom-pom necklace.