Just call me Flan.

Honestly, I’ve never watched an episode of Empire—because I can’t figure out how to make my television work and I don’t feel like paying for Hulu—but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate Cookie IRL, because lady is a sassy minx!

I love sassy people. And I love people who have food names. So mix the two and you’re probably going to create my all-time favorite character in the world, even if I don’t know what the hell she’s about, or what she does, or really anything about her. Except that she’s probably the best thing that’s ever happened.

I have a compulsive need for sassy people to like me, because I feel they have the most discerning tastes when it comes to whom they hold in their favor. This stems partly, I believe, from a grade school teacher I had who was so unforgiving and with it, that you’d actually WANT her to pick on you. You’d sit in class and plead in your head, “OH PLEASE! Please tell me how you appreciate the fine art of singing out loud to yourself, but that the Spice Girls are not looking to replace Posh on their reunion tour, and I’d be better off figuring out that the sum of 2 + 2 is not, in fact, 22.” And then you'd laugh to yourself and exclaim, "How right! I should probably learn how to add."

I think her name was Mrs. Apple Pie, or something.

American Apparel tee

Vintage leather skirt that my friend sent to me because she thought I'd like it (!)

Jeffrey Campbell bird shoes

H&M faux fur jacket

Nasty Gal necklace